Thursday, December 15, 2011

Pumpkin bars or cake...or something

When I say everything I make is an experiment, I'm not kidding.  Everyone is my guinea pig.  Does your baking go like this?

  • Look up a pumpkin bar recipe.
  • Cook half a pumpkin and puree it.
  • Measure pumpkin into mixing bowl...hmm...too much for a double batch, I'd better not throw it all in.
  • Wait, I don't want any left over.  I'll make a triple batch.
  • Wait, I can't fit three 9 x 13 pans in the oven and have them bake evenly.
  • (Quick mental calculations as I stare at the recipe)
  • I'll multiply the recipe by 2 1/2 times and then use some of the pumpkin in place of oil.  I'm supposed to reduce oil at my altitude anyway.
  • I don't really need 10 eggs.  Recipes call for medium eggs and these are large.  I'll do 8.
  • This sounds like it would taste better with brown sugar.  I'll do half brown sugar, but increase the amount to balance out the less-sweet flavor of my jack o lantern pumpkin.
  • This looks like it needs vanilla.  A lot.  Orange peel would go well too.
  • Oops, I don't have enough oil upstairs.  Oh well, I wanted to reduce it.
  • Maybe I should do part soft whole wheat flour.  Nah, I'm already altering this enough.  What if it doesn't live up to everyone's expectations for my baking?  I'll pick another recipe to make healthier.
  • Okay, 5 teaspoons of baking powder.  Ugh, no one can ever agree if a tablespoon is 2 1/2 teaspoons or 3 teaspoons.  I'll do two scant tablespoons.  Except that my baking powder is ancient.  I probably need a little extra.

  • Dang, when will I learn to stop multiplying recipes by this much.  My arm is killing me trying to mix this and there's no room in the bowl.  Bust out the mixer!
  • (Tasting) Ugh, this needs help.  More sugar and vanilla!  And those last two eggs!  Maybe more salt.
  • This recipe sounds like it needs cloves.  And a lot more cinnamon than it calls for.  Oops, that dumped in more than I planned.  
  • (Tasting) Not spicy enough.  More cloves.  And maybe some ginger.  
  • (Pouring into pans) It looks boring.  Chocolate chips!
  • Hmm, this is turning out more like cake than bars.  Oh well.  
  • I can't bake this any longer or it will burn on the bottom, but the middle isn't done!  Why oh why did I multiply this by 2 1/2 times?!
And that is why I can't always give you the recipe I used, duplicate it, or guarantee it will taste amazing.  Because really, you're my guinea pig.  Every time.


Amy said...

Sometimes my baking/cooking is like that - but much, much simpler. I do change things a little sometimes, but most of the time I don't, and I only do one or two substitutions. I think cooking would be too stressful if my thought process were as complex as yours! :)

Ryan and Tammy said...

a little, but on a different scale;)

Golda said...

Oh man, I could never do that! I applaud those who can improvise and adjust. I'm just now getting to the point where I can make minor changes to baking recipes.

Jaime said...

WAHAHAHAHA, you are hilarious!!