Two Facebook friends said:
H - "thinks that life is weird-people you see everyday or not everyday could be suffering greatly and you might not have a clue"
B's response - "It's true - every person is a self-contained universe of sorrow, grief, hope, happiness, trepidation, you name it. We just can't assume anything from appearances."
I don't recommend clicking through to this blog that I read occasionally, but feel obligated to cite the link. If you get offended when visiting the blog, just remember I warned you.
"People who want the best for us, people who mean to be helpful when speaking to us about _______, will almost inevitably say something stupid. Something that hurts, something that will still make us angry years later even once we're past the worst of it.
And we've all spent time fashioning the perfect response, whether it's an incisive remark or a raw and honest letter explaining just why what that person said was wrong. But then not finding the nerve to say it in the moment when it would do the most good, or canceling that e-mail message without sending it, because we know the ignorance had been backed by kind intentions.And I thought, what if, instead of saying something snippy, or sending a link to an article that will never be read, or taking our hurt feelings — our rightfully hurt feelings — and squashing them down into a little internal ball of bitterness, we said, 'I know you love me and you mean to be helpful, so here's what you can do'?"